We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
