So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
try to milk me bitch
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
