yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
