Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
