yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize