So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
