I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
