who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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