And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he shaved USA in his pubs
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
