i think my mom watched the whole time
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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