We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Randomize
