god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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