I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
