love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
