party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
