Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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