Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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