That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize