You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
