..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i dont even know how to be here
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
