If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
