i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
