he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Man, jail baloney is awful.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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