It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I deserve this hangover.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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