found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize