How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
