that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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