dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
