You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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