im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The ass gains better be worth it
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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