She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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