I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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