It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
