you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
