Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
