So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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