Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
