First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i will never coherently bang her
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
