bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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