she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
