That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
