Define "chronic" masturbator.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize