Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
PANTIES FOUND
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
