I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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