All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize