Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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