Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize