watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
