I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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