You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
