I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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