i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
