i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize