apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
