You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
