Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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