Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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